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Mommy, What Color Am I?

With the increase of interracial couples, it makes sense that there has been a sharp increase in the number of bi-racial children. (See entries on Black Enough? and Jungle Fever)

Two consenting adults have made a decision to be together, and to love each other despite the personal and societal difficulties. However, by having children, they have also decided (whether actively or passively) to expose their innocent children to a very unique set of challenges.

One of the major challenges is the idea of identity. Yes--all children ask the "Who am I?" question at some point in their lives, but for a bi-racial child, the question takes on additional complexity. "I'm not Black, I'm not White, I'm not Chinese, I'm not Mexican, etc."

Living in a society that simply wants to label and categorize people doesn't help, either. Some of the terms that are used to describe bi-racial individuals are not exactly flattering: Mixed, Half-breeds, Oreos.

What counsel would you give to the parents of bi-racial children? How would you address the issue of identity?

(I'd like to recommend a good book that deals with this issue directly, The Color of Water by James McBride.)

The Picture of Success

Yesterday, in response to the posting, Jungle Fever, Antoinette made the comment,

The second statement--made indirectly to our black girls--is that you are not present in the "picture" of success! Not only does society make it tough for you (Black females) to get there on your own, but when you look at what success looks like, there are very few black female faces.

That phrase, the PICTURE OF SUCCESS, caught my attention. Here's why...

Vision is so important. There's a verse in the Bible that states, "where there is no vision, the people cast off restraint." In other words, if I don't see life better for myself in the future, then it really doesn't matter what I do now. I don't need to make investments in my future because, no matter what I do, life isn't going to get any better for me.

In my opinion, there are three primary groups that help us create our vision: our faith community, our family and friends, and the media.

Unfortunately, much of what we embrace as the picture of success is shaped by the media. And when that is the case, Antoinette is right--there aren't a lot of Black female faces in those pictures.

Nevertheless, I am still on strong believer that YOU ARE RESPONSIBLE for what you accept as true. As adults, we can't continue to blame anyone else for the "realities" that we embrace.

In fact, you have the ability to create your own picture of success, and ensure that YOU are securely positioned in that picture.

Jungle Fever

In one of the comments on the entry Black Enough, the question was asked,

"Why do so MANY black successful men marry WHITE WOMEN?"

Interestingly enough, just a few days ago, I met an African-American medical doctor who was shopping with his daughter. It was very clear that his daughter was the product of a bi-racial union.

In other words, "a White woman got another one of the good Black men."

Have you ever heard this statement? Whether it's athletes, entertainers, or corporate executives, seeing "successful" Black men with White women seems to leave a bad taste in people's mouths.

So I've got two questions today:

1. As the commenter asked, "Why do so many successful Black men marry White women?", and

2. Why is it such a problem?

Black Enough?

At a recent debate, Senator Barack Obama was asked if he was "authentically Black enough".

Without any introductory comments, let me ask...

What does it mean to be Black? And how "Black" do you have to be to be "Black enough"?

Wanted: Winners

There's an old expression that states, "you are known by the company you keep."

The people that comprise your "community" speak a lot about who YOU are. Of all the people in the world, these are the individuals that you have chosen--whether actively or passively--to associate with.

Let me be clear before you jump to conclusions...I don't believe that any one person has more value than any other person. Nobody's life is worth more than anyone else's. And finally, I believe we all have the responsibility of loving our fellow human beings.

Having said that...I hate being around losers!

(I see that got your attention.)

Let me share my definition of a loser: a person who has accepted, and possibly even embraced, a state or condition that is beneath their ability, potential and/or destiny.

I'm not talking about people who can't do better. I'm talking about people who have CHOSEN not to do better!

I am looking to work with, live with, play with, and pray with, individuals who want better for their lives--and are willing to do what it takes to make it happen.

Is it in you?

Casting Call

I just recieved an interesting email from a friend. It contained the following questions:

If a movie were to be made about your life...

Who (name of actor/actress) would portray you?

Who would portray your spouse/"significant other"?

Who would portray your best friend?

I am really curious to hear your responses on this one!