With the increase of interracial couples, it makes sense that there has been a sharp increase in the number of bi-racial children. (See entries on Black Enough? and Jungle Fever)Two consenting adults have made a decision to be together, and to love each other despite the personal and societal difficulties. However, by having children, they have also decided (whether actively or passively) to expose their innocent children to a very unique set of challenges.
One of the major challenges is the idea of identity. Yes--all children ask the "Who am I?" question at some point in their lives, but for a bi-racial child, the question takes on additional complexity. "I'm not Black, I'm not White, I'm not Chinese, I'm not Mexican, etc."
Living in a society that simply wants to label and categorize people doesn't help, either. Some of the terms that are used to describe bi-racial individuals are not exactly flattering: Mixed, Half-breeds, Oreos.
What counsel would you give to the parents of bi-racial children? How would you address the issue of identity?
(I'd like to recommend a good book that deals with this issue directly, The Color of Water by James McBride.)
11 comments:
Lee,
I see your point being the product of a bi-racial relationship myself, however I am beginning to believe that children do see color, but they don't think anything is wrong with the color.
As the world changes and we evolve as people, I would like to think that the perception of different races would also change and the issues that exist today would dissipate. I believe that the ignorance of the past will not continue to haunt our children as it has haunted us.
I think that children just want to belong, to feel a part of something. What happens for bi-racial children is that they have two sides of their family, but feel like odd-balls and outsiders, and don't feel like they belong in either side. So, until the whole society is "mixed", bi-racial children are always going to feel like outsiders.
Only if the family makes them feel like outsiders...However if the two families embrace each other, the children will be fine.
I don't care how much either side of the family makes you feel, a child still recognizes that they are DIFFERENT. They look different. They are darker than the white family and lighter than the black family. They may be loved and respected, but I'm sure they still feel different.
I disagree...It depends on the situation...
The children might ask questions and depending how you answer the questions as an adult will dictate the child’s comfort level with the situation. I am a firm believer that behavior is taught/learned. We have the power as parents to make this issue a non-issue. It is our choice which we impose on our children.
I am the product of a bi-racial relationship as are my children. I don't see any indicators right know that my children feel out of place with either side of the family.
My Great, great grandfather was a white man and being one of the light skin brothers I know the feeling and I have been asked a many of times who is white MY Mother or My Father.
But both My Mother and Father are dark skin persons and there was never a doubt as to which group I was in…. the black one.
DOC
Who's in the picture?
Just a random family from a picture I found on the internet.
Children see what they are taught to see... all children come with a blank hard drive... the parents and the society that their family allow them to be a part of burn the images of what and who they are.
Knowing that you are different or have a different skin tone (gender, size or whatever) doesn't always equate to a negative.
I just think we adults make a bigger deal of these differences than do our children. They manage to do just fine until some adult(s) mess them up.
If a child asks their parent(s) what color they are, I'd suggest that any parent tell them... but most importantly the parent(s) should teach them who they are.
Power, Knowledge and Victory!
Well, it depends on whether or not the people are saved, because your identity then changes to that of Christ. We spend so much time, paying so much attention to who we are according to the flesh, when in fact a few hundred years from now it won't even matter. I'm considered to be a black man and my children are considered to be black children, but is that really important. Is how we and others see us really that important, or is how God see us more important? What do God see when he looks at me and my family? A black man with his black wife and kids? Or do he see his childrens made in his image? Oh, the image of God, what color and nationality is the image of God? I think it is the trick of the devil to keep us so fixed on the earthly things and not on the spiritual. Us humans are all the same in Christ, doesn’t the word of God state that “God, hath made of one blood all nations of men for to dwell on all the face of the earth.” If I were to really give you a rundown about me according to the flesh, well, my name is part Scandinavian and English which is Caucasian, my grand farther was part Native American and Mexican, and grand mother was Black, and by the way my last name is Canadian. Who cares? If we’re caught up with Christ tonight none of this will even matter.
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